I used to take all my cues on how to gain ‘respect’ from the men around me. How they acted, how they talked, how they told jokes, how they worked and played. How they led.
As a musician I desperately tried to show men that I could play solos and drum like them. As a writer I desperately attempted to write in a blunt, no nonsense voice like male authors.
As a spiritual seeker I desperately tried to show how detached I could be, and to meditate and suppress emotions like the male monks and spiritual teachers.
And now as an entrepreneur of a spiritual biz I’m fucking over being desperate.
What I truly am is emotionally intelligent, loving, connected, receptive, trusting, and fearless of intimacy. And that’s plenty enough of a foundation to thrive on.
Women don’t need to prove they can do what’s natural to a man- driving, pushing, penetrating and slaying in terms of numbers & money.
Don’t get me wrong, driving full speed toward a goal isn’t bad. But when the system doesn’t value the feminine it drives itself off a cliff!
In a patriarchal society the system is rigged yang to begin with, so to add more of the same energy to it actually tips the scale. This imbalance perpetuates a fight or flight/ militant way of being and breeds lack of safety in the body.
It makes it ‘the norm’ to check out of your body, and leads to burnout.
Thankfully we can tip the scale the other way by reclaiming the polar opposite energy.
We can reclaim the divine feminine, heart-centered, nurturing, soft, present, earthy, feeling, tending and befriending, receptive, grounding energy.
We can start listening to our body. Welcome in emotions and safety. Let ourselves receive pleasure and connection instead of chasing status and money.
Clients were drawn to me (magnetizing) when I accepted help (receiving), shared in fun/ joy creating the business website and marketing channels (connection), and didn’t force social media posts but let myself write when inspiration came (flow). I’m not straining myself to do the sessions, I’m just tuning in (emotional intelligence) and being held in an environment (safety) that lets me focus with the right music and ambience (beauty).
This is the new way of relating and expressing in business. This is the new way of living in the world.
all photos by Lauren Alexandra Photography