Crying as Emotional Maturity

When I was a kid I would get sad and have crying episodes in a way that was thought to be ‘abnormal.’ It got so scary my mom didn’t know what to do, and counseling wasn’t as affordable or readily accepted in the early 80s.

So I sucked it up and carried on like a little soldier (aka learned to suppress it) only in my adult years to discover undigested shame, low self worth, and sadness that played out in all kinds of fucked up ways.

Shakti/ life force has an intelligence of its own and it will find its way out through you!

Now something that happens with clients more and more is they cry during a session, or email me telling me how the session brought tears.

At first when this started happening I was worried…are my readings too intense? Am I bumming people out?

Well no, actually! What’s happening is emotional digestion and letting the energy body assimilate in this way actually can bring on a deep emotional maturity.

The trick is you have to let the emotion come up WITHOUT the story your mind pulls up with it. You have to be willing to say yes to the emotion, and no to the mental story.

You have to make the intention to digest it fully. You have to make the sweetest, strongest container while it’s happening- whether that’s a restorative yoga pose, laying on the earth, holding an object that belonged to an ancestor, gazing at a saint/ guru’s photo, the safety of your bed and a weighted blanket, the love of a deceased loved one, or your own precious hands on your body.

Emotional maturity is a new paradigm for our culture.

In politics people are constantly avoiding or spewing their emotions in the form of hatred and blame, due to their projections/ stories of shame and power play. Could it be that this is emotional immaturity disguised as power? Why are so many attracted to it?

In spiritual traditions men have gained high levels of respect by denying/ suppressing their emotions only later to have it distort into child molestation or harassment or sexual abuse. Could it be that this is simply emotional immaturity and they’ve been calling it ‘enlightenment’ and now we’re really waking up to it?

It wasn’t until I turned 41 that I gathered the courage to be with the old unfinished emotion from my childhood and digest it fully (at least more fully than I ever had before!). Afterwards I noticed I had more self worth and genuinely liked myself.

I liked myself because I didn’t feel shame anymore for being an empath. I could let sadness flow through me as a healing stream and let the stream continue on- out. I didn’t have to dam it up and mute it anymore.

I no longer fear people crying during the sessions, and I offer them practices to support their emotional digestion. I wish more than anything for all people on this planet to be unafraid and unashamed of their emotions because this is where true growth and maturity lies. (Not to mention radiance, longevity and physical health but that’s a whole other post!)

(Above photo by Lauren Alexandra photography)